Suicide…? But Why?

The rate of suicide has been on the increase in recent times. And in a space of one week, the ugly incidence of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain causes a stir in my mind.  It shivers down my spine. And I wondered about the reason for this urge to end one’s life? What could be the state of mind at that instance when one decides that the only option left was suicide?

There was a story I read about an independent medical practitioner with a busy medical clinic in the United States. He had always nursed the dream of leaving the clinic to his son, who was a medical student. However, his dream was truncated as his son returned home one weekend, ate his food ferociously and retired to his room located in the basement. Alas! By morning his body was found hanging. The son has taken his life while the father was upstairs oblivious of the creepy act.

Last week the world heard the shocking news of Kate Spade’s death by suicide (hanging). This was a lady ahead of her time. A fashion icon whose empire is worth over $2.5 billion. Due to these seemingly painful tragedies, I had a disturbing moment as I thought about the conditions that would make one commit suicide, the decision and agony of such contemplation, and the moment of committing such audacious act. Ouch… Gosh!

Kate Spade was worth $2.5 billion, so money to live a glamorous life or get a treatment wasn’t an issue. But despite having everything the eyes could see, she really didn’t have it all going by this abrupt end of taking own life.

Anthony Bourdain found dead in a hotel in France from an apparent suicide. In case you don’t know him, he was the world-renowned chef that hosted his own show, “Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown”, on CNN. I must admit that I’ve worried about him getting seriously ill from some of the things I saw him eat in his show. This is the second celebrity in a week that died from apparent suicides.

But Depression is quite complex, involving an array of chemicals which may be caused by medical illness, medications, genetic vulnerability etcetera.  A depressed person needs expert advice and perhaps treatment. Mental illness and depression, in particular, does not care about your net worth and can take the richest and strongest down.

It’s a scary phenomenon and I hope that people are aware that this twin illness is real and can happen to anyone. It has no respect for any job, talent, background, gender or race. It punches a deadly blow on the rich, poor, and everyone in between. And it’s a bitch. It’s a killer that happens if proper attention is not paid to the symptoms.

Can this be an eye-opener for everyone with a soul? Can we be kinder, and care a little more about others? Can we go beyond the mere verbal utterances of “How are you” and truly and sincerely seek to know how the other person is doing? Can we listen more when others wish to share their personal struggles with us? Can we embrace people and find out about their welfare without boxing them to a corner just because we feel they are wealthy and have everything in their favour?

Let’s be more observant of the people around us. Let’s look for possible signs when friends and family members suddenly change. The moment someone close to you becomes extraordinarily reserved, talks less, avoid people, limits social activities, I think we should keep a watchful eye on such a person. Perhaps, have a talk to ascertain that all is well with him or her because it’s possible that the person is losing touch with reality due to struggles within. Yeah, when it comes to trials and tribulations, challenges and depression, it’s obvious that no amount of money, enormous wealth, fame and affluence can keep one away from an acute state of brokenness and vulnerability.

The truth is that we don’t all have it all. Don’t let anyone or anything distract or deceive you about this reality.  Some people may have at one point or another contemplated a self-inflicted suicide, but by sheer willpower or support network around them, such ‘evil’ tendencies were averted.

It behoves on people to let others know how they feel. Whenever you are depressed or down in spirit, please talk to a friend or even your enemy as the case may be. Spare your family and loved ones and the entire human race the anguish of waking up to your death aided by suicide. It’s not easy, I know but I hope we are able to snap out of glooming or depressing moods.

Jettison the idea of committing suicide. Please let this not be an option you wish to embrace.

Finally, stop wishing and praying that you have someone else’s life and be thankful for your own life. Be thankful for where you are because you never know the struggles others wrestle in their life’s journey.

 

Peace and Love!

Copyright © 2018 by Simpledimple.  All Rights Reserved.

 

22 thoughts on “Suicide…? But Why?

  1. The media is trying to clam its terms down for people who take their own lives. The expression “committed suicide” infers that a crime has been committed. So the terms they intend to use are not as graphic which hopefully stop other people from ending their own lives. A thoughtful article. Thank you for your thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are at the end of your rope, and you can’t take it any much longer. You are in pain, and you are suffering, and you feel there is no hope. You are fearful, confused and do not know where to turn. You think that there is no hope for you. When you are in this situation, remember the 99 percent rule. The 99 percent rule states that that no one can predict the future with 100 percent certainty.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmn. This is thought provoking. Indeed, Life is weird and this is troubling. I can’t say I understand fully what people suffer in their private lives but one thing is for sure… Sometimes we all find ourselves in a crossroad. However, no matter what we go through, there is still hope if only we can hold on a little longer. If only we can rebuke that ‘voice’ that urges us to take the tragic option.

      Like

  3. Such a great post. We do need to be more vigilant. If you are going to ask how someone is doing, we need to listen to them. Really listen. We need each other. After this week, it is readily apparent we need each other more than we know.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with you. The spate of suicide in our society is quite troubling, and it calls for us to be vigilant and observant about unusual strings of behaviour in the lives of our families, friends and loved ones.

      Thank you for sharing your opinions and for reading. 🙂

      Like

    • Ouch… Thank God for your life. A friend once confided that she has contemplated ending her life when she was besieged with suffering and found herself on a crossroad. She said she was saved the moment her thoughts drifted to the unending pain those who have shown her so much love would experience – family and friends. She said at that instance, her mind shifted and she moved away from her suicidal thoughts. We need to show people around us more love if we can help it. It’s all so terrifying to imagine.

      Like

  4. Stella, I too am concerned with the use of the word “commit” when it comes to suicide. Also you state that “by sheer willpower or support network around them, such evil acts were averted.” I find that terrible, to describe a person taking their own life as evil.

    I have only the smallest inkling of understanding why anyone would wish to end their own life but I’m pretty sure it is not because they covet someone else’s life, and I’m quite sure other’s struggles are not even considered, nor what they will leave behind.

    Suicide is a last, desperate act, and it behoves us all to do our best to recognise depression in ourselves, and in others, and to do our utmost to support those in need.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Peter for sharing your opinions on this post. I share in your sentiments too about this issue.

      I’d say that we see things differently regarding my use of the word “evil”… By my belief, it’s evil to take ones life. But I will not go into details here. No matter what, no one should end it this way!

      Having said that, while I know that Depression is a monster and that mental illness is an illness and not a joke fodder, I still hope that people will resist the optimal decision to take their lives. Sadly, it’s not easy to tell anyone to just “get over it” or somehow that they should just wish it away… I think they would if they could. We can only respond with love and compassion when someone does open up to us about their struggles.

      In all, we need to pay attention to our friends and family members, some maybe depressed and we may not even know. God help us all.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s easy to say why didn’t they ask for help…. it’s a pain and confusion if the inner thoughts that causes eventual suicide.
    Saying “hey are you ok mate” is very different to stopping engaging in their eyes and saying “ hey what’s happening in that head … I’m here, wholly”

    Suicide is complex and I have posted on this before.

    So today stop give someone your time often a stranger asking can change a persons plans, may not stop them but change them..

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve stated well. Indeed, suicide is complex. Just yesterday after I made this post, news had it that a young lady drove atop a bridge, packed her car and jumped into the sea in Lagos. An apparent suicide. It’s really pathetic. God help us all.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Often help is not accepted or enough. I had a dear friend visiting who was in a bad place. We talked a lot and I tried to offer her many solutions to her problems. She laid down for a nap and it was many hours later when I tried to wake her I found the note in her hands as she had taken many pills. Luckily I got to her in time and she is almost fully recovered. I honestly don’t know what more I could have done. I think at a low point sometimes there is just no getting through to them sadly. It is a terrible fate that happens too often. But I think talking about it and making it less “taboo” is a step in the right direction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you came timely else it would have been terrible. You’re right. Sometimes, no matter the talks and help, people still embrace ending it all.

      I think that people have to genuinely show care to others. We have to listen to people without any hint of judgement and talk to them with kindness and love.
      With the case of celebrities, as high achieving people, they find it difficult to express vulnerability. They bear the whole struggle alone which is detrimental.

      Most people need soothing words and a shoulder to lean on. Just a little more love
      and kindness can make a great impact in people lives. And perhaps, those at the verge of giving up will have a change of mindset when kindness is extended to them.

      Liked by 1 person

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